I Posted Something...Now What?
I let it in. I said something. I posted something. Now what?
I realized this week that I'd like a 30 minute sitcom solution to racism. I want to acknowledge the problem, fix the problem, have a heartfelt moment where I shed a tear and then tune in next week for a more light-hearted episode. All with 3 commercial breaks and time for the credits to roll.
It's not the easiest thing to admit but it's true.
I said something. I posted something.
Now it's this week. Unfortunately,the truth about racism that I let move me last week is still a reality today.
So, now what?
Spoiler alert: I don't exactly know.
And that overwhelms me and tempts me to look somewhere else. Look anywhere else and wait.
I don't know the solution. It's a hot flippin mess and I can't make it all better. I don't know the solution.
The little that I do know:
To my white friends and family that I've had good conversations with in the last week,
We share a common belief that saying the "wrong thing" or saying anything the "wrong" way is worse than saying nothing at all.
The fear of messing up keeps many of us silent about racism.
The fear of messing up keeps me silent about racism.
I've had some good conversations with my black friends and family in the last week.
I learned that our belief that keeps us silent is a lie.
Our deafening silence hurts way more than the awkwardness of our fumbling through saying the "wrong" thing, the "wrong" way.
It would be better for us to stick our proverbial feet in our big mouths as we try to say we care than it is to let our silence say that we potentially don't.
Traumatic things are happening. Black people feel traumatized. Black people are hurting. Maybe we can't fully understand that. That's ok. But that doesn't mean we pretend it isn't happening.
Not everyone could relate with me to losing a father last year when my dad died. But those who couldn't fully understand didn't just ignore me and pretend it didn't happen.
And those who felt they could relate did not come up to me and say "Why are you so upset? Other people have lost dads too."
Just because we acknowledge one person's hurt doesn't take away from or mean no one else is hurting. IT ISN'T PIE!
When someone is hurting, for whatever reason, it is never wrong to simply say, "I am so sorry this is happening. I care about you. Is there anything I can do?"
We can't always know. There is so much I don't know.
It's ok to learn. Remember learning? Remember what we did in school when we didn't understand? We raised our hands and we asked questions.
It's ok to ask questions. It's ok to say "I don't know. Can you show me?"
So, that’s what I’ve been doing. God has provided amazing opportunities to show and receive love and truth.
I still don’t know how to fix all of it. It still feels massive and overwhelming and scary. I can't fix it. I can’t save the world.
Thankfully someone already did. The only real solution, the only "fix" will be found in God through his son, Jesus. Following him. Emulating him. Praying to him. Being filled with His Spirit. Listening like him. Speaking like him. Loving like him.
Loving like him.
And while I am seeking to do more of all of the above, I've been given some great tools from a great friend so that I can learn. Educate myself. Find answers to my questions.
So that I can understand.
So that I can pray.
So that I can listen, so that I can speak.
So that I can love.
My "Now What?" to-do list:
Continue to pray. Pray specifically. Pray earnestly.
Learn, ask questions, resource myself. Read the books I have ordered. Watch documentary. Follow these and more black leaders.
Continue the conversations with friends and family.
Continue conversation with hubby and look into local boards and government. Find out where/how to get more involved. Know more about local elections and those that run for office. When are the next elections for boards in our community/schools? Find out when and attend next meeting(s).